It’s perfectly normal
It took quite some time for me to realise that the normal functioning of a family requires that a natural system of filtration occurs — from family member to family member — ensuring that all blame for anything and everything naturally gravitates towards and becomes the resposibility of one person. In my family, I am that person.
It’s all about you
It really doesn’t matter what it is, who did it, when it happened, or what the repurcussions might be — through a highly flexible system of logic, it becomes your fault.
It’s all your fault
Here’s the thing — in the world of work the cone of blame typically focuses the torrent of finger pointing at anybody with “Manager” in their job title. This is a crafty trick, because the “Owner” deflects all criticism.
Unfortunately the world of the home sees a strategic shift, where the holder of the “Manager” title is also bestowed with the “Owner” title. A well deserved accolade no doubt, but of course these titles are entirely perfunctory in my experience, because all power in the household actually resides with the other half — the main functions of the title holder seem to be agreeing with others, and paying for things.
Get used to it
It’s a curious thing — the cone of blame. Accusations only adhere to you if you occupy the most exhalted position at the foot of the pyramid — all other roles become impervious to suspicion. It’s a powerful feeling, knowing that everything and everybody is eventually coming for you.
Originally published at https://jonbeckett.com on January 4, 2021.